Day 24: LeBron Cements His Decision

Now that we have fully recuperated from Lebron Jame’s shocking announcement on Thursday that he would be joining the Miami Heat and selling out on his hometown while renouncing the greatest city in the world at the same time, we are prepared to present you, our hungry readers with an update on our ride.

Rising from the comfort of their cramped and rough Ramada Inn beds in Sterling, the team was ready to hit the road for another 100+ mile day. The ride to Ogallala was predicted to be downhill and mostly flat; however, the reconnaissance team consisting of Shane and Jason that hit the road first brought texts of dismay. Not only would the ride be hilly, but the scenery as well would prove to be a downer. During a water break, the two were approached by a group of large, yet friendly cattle. Speaking only a few common words, specifically “moo,” the boys proceeded to start a game of tag with their new friends. As Momma Fish always says, “These things can end only with someonbody getting hurt.” The somebody in this case? The cows who ran across the highway and were massacred brutally by oncoming traffic.

Just kidding!!

No cows were harmed in the writing of this blog or on the course of this trip, save for those Jason orders for dinner and doesn’t finish.

On with our story: Kirsten was the day’s driver, chauffeuring Mike and his injured steed (read:bike). Sanford, Zane, and Claire left soon after the recon squad, catching up to the two of them as they “cowed” around. Hahahaha. Making use of a road currently closed to vehicles, the five riders continued to perfect their slipstreaming and drafting, adding in some three-man weave to the mix. Knowing they would be unable to stop running the drill until making 15 layups in a row, Shane, Jason, and Zane took over shooting duties. With a becoming-sick Sanford cheering from the bench and Claire attempting to boss the boys around as usual, our big three sunk the final shot and found a Subway waiting for them. Move over Lebron! After enjoying a fine meal, a paler and dehydrated Sanford joined Mike and Kirsten in the van to rest and the four riders head out to finish the final leg of the day’s journey.

Before they left subway, Mike and Kirsten had a very informative conversation with a local, Jesse, who has spent his entire 66 years living on the Nebraska side of the Colorado-Nebraska border. “My best advice,” he started, “get out of Nebraska as fast as you can.”

Finding his insights on life engaging and stimulating, the two finally hit the road some time later, only to come across an odd sight—a knee-deep concrete-dipped Jason. You see, the always adventurous New Yorker was so used to breaking the law, that upon biking up to a construction site, he instantaneously was compelled to push past the bright orange pylons plastered with “no trespassing.” As our aspiring Huck Finn brilliantly biked in uncharted territory, he accidentally rolled across some freshly poured cement and sank down to his knees mid-pedal. With workers screaming at him in words only Shane could understand, Jason flagged down the van and tried desperately to use whatever available water to wash his shoes and bike clean of the fast-drying construction material. Surely, Mr. Stein is sitting somewhere reading this and chuckling to himself. With the aid of a cement-mixer driver, Jason was able to hose himself down and rescue his horse. While Shane and Zane biked past and laughed at the hilarity of the image, Mike, Kirsten, and Sanford managed to stifle their giggles until it was clear that there would apparently be no permanent damage to the bike.

Although Zane and Shane’s dreams of frolicking with the cows were crushed by a necessary detour into Ogallala, the two enjoyed each others company as they discussed contemporary trends in the cowboy hat industry. Such riveting conversation truly made the ride fly by, and the two found themselves relaxing in the comfort of their rooms in Ogallala in no time. Recently showered Jason and never showered Claire, however, overshot the target by about 8 miles and were picked up by an effervescent Mike farther down the road.

Overall the day’s ride, though long and fraught with monotonous scenery provided our riders with what has so far been deemed the most entertaining of the entire trip: Jason, knee deep in cement, with no clue on whether or not he would be sealed in his bike shoes for all eternity. While the streets of New York may have prepared him for mob hits and dumps into the Hudson River, nothing would be able to compare to his feeling of stupidity after falling into that pit.

And now, the answers to the trivia questions:

1) 3792 children under the age of thirteen are estimated to be living in the USA with AIDS

2) The sarcastic paragraph was the Last one.

Somehow, nobody managed to answer these questions correctly. In fact, nobody attempted to answer them at all. With that in mind, consider the next week’s trivia questions as a provisional testing period to determine the value of trivia.