Day 26: The Land Before Time

From the riders: The day began interestingly with Shane and Jason confessing to Sanford their desire to read Twilight, however lacking security in their masculinity, the pair decided against it. Shane settled to watching Lizzie Maguire reruns and Jason proceeded to consume 8 cans of Muscle Milk in attempt to compensate for even considering the idea.

And now on to the story…

Biking across America, you learn many valuable life lessons. One of which is how to maximize your dollar at tourist locations. After wasting more than enough of our cash in the carnival town that is Moab, Utah, we approached Mt. Rushmore with a new sense of direction. There was no need to pay $20 for a tour of the caves, the idea of a $50 helicopter ride sounded pointless, and it seemed unheard of to pay $30 to go to a reptile farm.


With a prudent nature imparted on us by Claire and Jason’s heritage, we left our regal hotel for another attempt at understanding the limestone faces and surrounding worshipers. With Jason’s Lincoln-esque facial hair leading us in discussion, we argued in true Stanford fashion the topics of the call to serve, citizenship, and the meaning of the stone faces. Agreeing only to disagree, our group finally pushed away from this national memorial and drove to one of another kind. Just 10 miles away from Mt. Rushmore is the Crazy Horse National Memorial and Native American National Museum. Not funded by federal money, it is truly a wonder that the monument is still under construction. The carving in the limestone of the black hills will depict Sioux chief Crazy Horse riding a, presumably crazy, horse. More interesting than Crazy Horse, however, is the next door statue called “Crazy Train.” Although ground has yet to be broken on this monolith, this next work will feature Ozzy Osborne, a real American icon. Though it is still unfinished, the “fifth face” made us rethink what it means to be American, and in following again with Jason and Claire’s heritage we chose to sit outside the park and study the work instead of paying $80 to enter.

Heading on a windy route back to North Platte, we tried to maximize our time and see as many of the sights in South Dakota as we could—despite the size of the state, this would prove fairly simple given there are only three attractions in the (cleverly named, might I add) “Mt. Rushmore State.” After our traditional Sonic lunch, we drove through Badlands National Park against Jason’s criticism. “Look, a mountain is a mountain, hills are hills, and Badlands will look exactly like Utah except it will be green instead of red.” To his dismay. however, the stone castles scattered throughout this national park were worth the drive and looked nothing like the canyons of Utah because they were green.

As children of the 90’s, this “Great Valley” reminded us of the hit animated film Land Before Time and we peered around each curve in the road with a childlike fervor only rivaled by Claire’s daily tantrums. Stopping to explore, the timid, somewhat cowardly pterodactyl Petri (named Jason in our saga) was coerced by the rough and tough triceratops Cerra (Sanford) to run across the salt flats and heard cows. With Moos louder than the roar of a T-Rex, the two frolicked through the fields as Ducky (Shane), Spike (Zane), Kirsten (to old to have a animated character name), and Little Foot (ha ha, think about the irony of Claire being named Little Foot) walked along the flats to find rocks.

Reconvening back at the car, the team traveled back into reality and began working their way back through the park. Apparently, though, the angered cows had texted some of their friends and set up a “Cattle against Jason and Shane” facebook group. However the means, word spread about the dynamic duo and after a couple miles of driving the car came to a sudden halt as it was surrounded by a heard of more than a hundred cattle. Transforming out of his Mexican state by removing the power of Zane’s cowboy hat, Shane referred back to his Hindu tradition to pray to the cows for forgiveness. With the power of the Ramayana, Shane managed to convince the cows to let the poor riders free, and they slowly marched away, leavening only hundreds of flies and a terrible stench behind them.

Determined to see a wild bison, the team ventured into the neighboring Buffalo National Park for Land Before Time IV (does anyone know why they used roman numerals in this movie? We had no all had no idea what they meant as kids). In the park, Kirsten, in true Eliza Thornberry Fashion, asked some of the local Prarie Dogs if they knew Timone from Lion King, while Zane, Sanford, and Claire all watched as Jason and Shane got in touch with their Old West Roots. In true Buffalo Bill fashion, the two got within 15 feet of the enormous Bison at the park, before the animals decided that enough was enough. Divorce and a debt ridden life flashed by Jason’s eyes as he realized that the stomping foot of the Bison could mean the end of his road. Managing to escape with only their lives, the two jumped back into the getaway vehicle and headed out of the Taft-financed national park.

In conversations with the always insightful Mr. Fisher, father to the much lesser insightful Claire Fisher, we were told to visit Wall, South Dakota on our way home. Wall is known as the “Window to the West” and is surrounded by an 80 mile radius of nothingness. In Wall, is the Wall Drug Store, made famous in the early twentieth century by providing free ice water to travelers heading west. This indoor mall/saloon/western Wal-mart provided Shane with an opportunity to acquire his own cowboy hat, gave Zane a chance to get some postcards, Jason a moment to get in touch with his Amish roots, Claire a reason to avoid eating, Kirsten a setting for more pictures, and Sanford with the realization that old is not better than new and Romeo and Juliet not as well written as Twilight.


Departing the historic mall, our exhausted bunch piled into the van one last time for the four hours left in the drive. Mother nature, desperate to teach us one last lesson before we left Dakota, provided us with a demonstration of her power as she thrust a electric lightening show miles ahead of us, a beautiful countryside sunset behind us, and a double rainbow in the rain directly in front of us. The scene was something out of a movie, as we drove on one of the loneliest roads in America through the multitude of conditions.

Day 25: Memories on the Road

Thus far, we have not met a single Nebraskan who has complimented their state. During last nights dinner at a local Saloon, even the waitress exclaimed, “just turn around and go back to Colorado as fast as you can.” Not only is Nebraska the most boring state in the Union but it in fact smells the worst as well.

Smiles brimming with enthusiasm, our group arose at the Roadway Inn in Ogallala prepared to bike the 52 miles to North Platte. Farmboy Zane, used to waking up before the sun rises, was the first out the door, as Shane, Sanford, Claire, and Jason all decided to get some extra shuteye. While a sick Kirsten and Mike pushed away in the Mystery Machine, the half-asleep foursome jumped back on to highway 30 for another leg past Nebraskan cornfields, cows, and trains. The always intellectually stimulated Jason, in an attempt to perfect his short-term memory, gave names to all 163-train cars that steamed past the bunch in great American fashion.

Arriving in North Platte just in time for lunch, our tumultuous group decided to take on its biggest task yet: cleaning out the van. From mold to hitch hikers, our van was stuffed to the brim with unnecessary amenities, and the two hours spent thoroughly cleaning each nook and cranny were well spent. Most importantly, after hosing down the van, the group was able to convince Claire that she needed a wash as well – paying the car wash company an additional $20 to send Claire through the much needed foam and bubbles will absolutely prove to be worthwhile use of FACE AIDS stipend.

After sharing pizza for lunch, our group jumped in their shady, unmarked white van and began their rest day with a 6-hour drive to visit Mt. Rushmore. With Mike deciding to stay in North Platte to service his bike and catch up on his movie watching, the remaining six riders were dazzled by the emptiness of Nebraska and South Dakota. Wikipedia said that the Great Plains would be flat, but none had prepared themselves for the miles of American land that lay lifeless before their eyes. 80 miles away, the team could see the Black Hills on the horizon, and with the help of U2, the team flew through the countryside where the streets have no names. After a long day on the road, it wasn’t long before the team had ascended the evergreen covered hills and laughed past the touristy town to see the faces of four American heroes etched in stone. Sitting among almost a thousand American citizens ft. Shane in the open-air auditorium, the team truly enjoyed the presentation by Smoky the Bear. With differing views on the night, the group managed to come together in their mutual desire for a bed and some food. Posing as a boy with family in Mumbai, Shane managed to find relations with the workers at the hotels front desk and the team struck a deal for two rooms at the highly acclaimed President’s View Resort. Mind you that any “Resort” in South Dakota is still a resort in South Dakota, and in opening up the blinds in their cozy rooms, the team chuckled at the picturesque view of a stone wall five feet in front of them.

With a hectic day past them, the inspired/ confused/ frustrated/ patriotic team collapsed on their beds and dreamt of what was to come. Their rest day in South Dakota had lots of promise, and they all swore to not leave the state without first taking a glimpse at the Americas true hero: The North American Bison.

Day 24: LeBron Cements His Decision

Now that we have fully recuperated from Lebron Jame’s shocking announcement on Thursday that he would be joining the Miami Heat and selling out on his hometown while renouncing the greatest city in the world at the same time, we are prepared to present you, our hungry readers with an update on our ride.

Rising from the comfort of their cramped and rough Ramada Inn beds in Sterling, the team was ready to hit the road for another 100+ mile day. The ride to Ogallala was predicted to be downhill and mostly flat; however, the reconnaissance team consisting of Shane and Jason that hit the road first brought texts of dismay. Not only would the ride be hilly, but the scenery as well would prove to be a downer. During a water break, the two were approached by a group of large, yet friendly cattle. Speaking only a few common words, specifically “moo,” the boys proceeded to start a game of tag with their new friends. As Momma Fish always says, “These things can end only with someonbody getting hurt.” The somebody in this case? The cows who ran across the highway and were massacred brutally by oncoming traffic.

Just kidding!!

No cows were harmed in the writing of this blog or on the course of this trip, save for those Jason orders for dinner and doesn’t finish.

On with our story: Kirsten was the day’s driver, chauffeuring Mike and his injured steed (read:bike). Sanford, Zane, and Claire left soon after the recon squad, catching up to the two of them as they “cowed” around. Hahahaha. Making use of a road currently closed to vehicles, the five riders continued to perfect their slipstreaming and drafting, adding in some three-man weave to the mix. Knowing they would be unable to stop running the drill until making 15 layups in a row, Shane, Jason, and Zane took over shooting duties. With a becoming-sick Sanford cheering from the bench and Claire attempting to boss the boys around as usual, our big three sunk the final shot and found a Subway waiting for them. Move over Lebron! After enjoying a fine meal, a paler and dehydrated Sanford joined Mike and Kirsten in the van to rest and the four riders head out to finish the final leg of the day’s journey.

Before they left subway, Mike and Kirsten had a very informative conversation with a local, Jesse, who has spent his entire 66 years living on the Nebraska side of the Colorado-Nebraska border. “My best advice,” he started, “get out of Nebraska as fast as you can.”

Finding his insights on life engaging and stimulating, the two finally hit the road some time later, only to come across an odd sight—a knee-deep concrete-dipped Jason. You see, the always adventurous New Yorker was so used to breaking the law, that upon biking up to a construction site, he instantaneously was compelled to push past the bright orange pylons plastered with “no trespassing.” As our aspiring Huck Finn brilliantly biked in uncharted territory, he accidentally rolled across some freshly poured cement and sank down to his knees mid-pedal. With workers screaming at him in words only Shane could understand, Jason flagged down the van and tried desperately to use whatever available water to wash his shoes and bike clean of the fast-drying construction material. Surely, Mr. Stein is sitting somewhere reading this and chuckling to himself. With the aid of a cement-mixer driver, Jason was able to hose himself down and rescue his horse. While Shane and Zane biked past and laughed at the hilarity of the image, Mike, Kirsten, and Sanford managed to stifle their giggles until it was clear that there would apparently be no permanent damage to the bike.

Although Zane and Shane’s dreams of frolicking with the cows were crushed by a necessary detour into Ogallala, the two enjoyed each others company as they discussed contemporary trends in the cowboy hat industry. Such riveting conversation truly made the ride fly by, and the two found themselves relaxing in the comfort of their rooms in Ogallala in no time. Recently showered Jason and never showered Claire, however, overshot the target by about 8 miles and were picked up by an effervescent Mike farther down the road.

Overall the day’s ride, though long and fraught with monotonous scenery provided our riders with what has so far been deemed the most entertaining of the entire trip: Jason, knee deep in cement, with no clue on whether or not he would be sealed in his bike shoes for all eternity. While the streets of New York may have prepared him for mob hits and dumps into the Hudson River, nothing would be able to compare to his feeling of stupidity after falling into that pit.

And now, the answers to the trivia questions:

1) 3792 children under the age of thirteen are estimated to be living in the USA with AIDS

2) The sarcastic paragraph was the Last one.

Somehow, nobody managed to answer these questions correctly. In fact, nobody attempted to answer them at all. With that in mind, consider the next week’s trivia questions as a provisional testing period to determine the value of trivia.

Days 22-23: Pure Bliss

Unfortunately, daily blog posts have not been the norm for some time now. Our visionary writers attribute this to the nature of the employment market: the truth of the matter is that Shane and Jason have become so nerve-wracked by the ongoing free agency of Lebron James that neither can sleep, eat, or, at any rate, blog. ESPN’s persistent coverage of every minor rumor regarding James’ future home has truly proven useful to our restless riders as their only sustenance.

With that in mind, please excuse potential spelling errors in the following piece of literary genius:

Waking up in the homey Stein house immediately made the team forget about its accommodations at the Ritz the night before. Well, maybe nobody will ever forget the Ritz Jacuzzi, but that doesn’t mean the team wasn’t continually amazed by the Stein’s help with all things, from breakfast to route planning and even pool lessons. Nonetheless, our riders awoke for a white water rafting trip down the world famous Clear Creek . As everyone made it groggily to the van, Zane sans cowboy hat for once, Shane sans identification papers, Claire sans makeup, Jason sans a shirt, and Sanford clearly “con” Twilight book, the team could only wonder if they would be able to ford the river without losing any oxen.

As usual, our team was more than satisfied with its rafting decision. Providing a challenge to our Stanford Rowers equitable to breaking 1:40.00 on a twenty minute erg test, the Class 3 and 4 rapids were more difficult than anything our riders had ever encountered. The trip, a lengthy 1.5 hours long, was filled with overly strenuous exercise, incredible conversation, and countless water breaks.

Those of us who had rafted before were disappointed; those who had not somewhat close-mindedly pledged never to make the mistake again. However, the entire rafting experience was not a waste—the trip was saved by the engaging talk our riders gave to the owner of the company about FACE AIDS and its microloan programs. It is true that even the roughest stone reflects some light. Thanks to excellent discussion, our rafting experience was, put simply, unforgettable.

Tuesday ended with amazing lasagna courtesy of the Steins. At the kids table sat Zane, Sanford, and Shane, a dinner party that quickly descended into chaos. When Zane refused to allow Shane to wear his cowboy hate, Shane took the oranges he brought to dinner from the plates of his tablemates. Zane ended up chasing Shane out of the house, over the fence, and across the Aurora Reservoir/Gulf, back into the undeveloped land south of the Stein household. Meanwhile, oblivious as usual was good old “Sanny” who continued to read Twilight and ponder the next location to place his smoothie cup. While Shane emigrated from the Stein’s, Jason and Claire enjoyed dinner with Mr and Mrs Stein. Wise, clever, and always witty, Mr Stein provided the lost New Yorker with directions home and advice on how to live a good life: Step 1/1 Renounce the Yankees and give up on the Knicks. As Claire tried to spirit away some lasagna so as to reverse-engineer it later, Jason simply nodded his head, ignoring every word out of Mr Stein’s mouth.

Finally, our team hit the hay, ready for its big (130 mile) ride the next day. Clearly the journey to Sterling, CO would be a wake-up call for out rested and lazy riders. Beset by tire problems and dreary skies, our riders found themselves resting on the side of the road for some time, discussing international politics, the potential for FACE AIDS expansion, and English tea. While Mike and Kirsten found their own Sacajaweas to aid them on their winding journey, the rest of the team played a round of the children’s game of GHOST. Despite Zane’s unique spelling prowess and Shane’s arguing for the acceptance of “mañana,” the game was quickly wittled down to our two contestants of the Book, Jason and Claire. Jason made short work of his cross-country rival, once more asserting New York’s dominance over San Francisco.

Eventually, the entire team made it successfully to Sterling. With high spirits after a truly rewarding, renewing, and purely amazing day, the team looks forward to the endless cornfields of Nebraska with an anxious fervor. Tomorrow, the ride to Ogallala, NE will be a mere 89 miles, providing no challenge at all for our always energized and enthusiastic team.


Belated Fourth of July Trivia: How many children under the age of 13 in the USA are estimated to be living with AIDS?

Bonus Question: One paragraph in this blog post is completely sarcastic. Can you guess which? (Hint: Replace the letter “f” in fast to find out!!!!)

Days 20 & 21: Ammmm-errr-ica

Before beginning to tell the epic that has been our rest days in Denver, we would like to formally apologize to our loyal fan base. We could use the "we are biking across America and don't have internet" excuse or the "Claire grounded us" explanation, but, at the end of the day, the blogs have not been as prevalent or timely due to poor time management -Yes, I said college students with poor time management skills. We wake up, bum arround all day, and at 12 am realize that no one has written the blog yet. Our B world, our B (to the elderly: "B" is a slang term for bad, which is a slang term for "fault," so I just said "I am sorry, it is our fault").

As history has written it, the story began on July 4th, with the fantastic four being deserted in the city of Denver for three days of rest. Mike had gone back to Wyoming, Europe for his friends wedding; Kirsten discovered and stayed with Waldo in Boulder, Co; and the social queen, Claire Fisher, hung out with one of her 1,125 facebook friends in Vail, CO. Though the motherly love held inside the Kelsall home could never be replicated, Sanford, Zane, Shane, and Jason desperately tried to solace themselves with a stay at the Ritz-Carlton in downtown Denver. Thanks to the group’s business sense, and an affable manager named Jason Arrington (much better dressed than our Jason), the four were graciously given two rooms for an immensely discounted price. They had slept in the deserts of Nevada, the canyons of Utah, and the mountain passes of Denver, but, to be honest, nothing has prepared them for the pillow-top beds and feather pillows of the Ritz.

In true American fashion, after showering in their own personal tubs and steam showers, the boys headed out to the Colorado Rockies baseball game against the San Francisco Giants. Realizing that they had traveled across four states, only to attend a game they could have watched back home in San Francisco, the Hardy Boys tried to make the best of their mysterious adventure. Shane wanted to solve the case as to why Americans loved Slumdog, but don’t give the Indian’s game of cricket a chance. Twilight savant, Sanford, went people watching to make sure that there were no gremlins, werewolves, vampires, or teen heartthrobs in the bleachers of the stadium. USDA certified, Nor CAL farm hand Zane Silver was fixated on the grass of the stadium and tried to determine the origin of each blade. And, most importantly, Jason attempted to stay cool in a baseball stadium that lacked the obnoxious fans, absurd amenities, and grimy walkways that he is used to in New York.

The game was a thriller and would go down in history as the longest game ever remembered in the intoxicating brewery formally known as Coors Field. Post game, the boys took naps at the hotel and ate dinner at the renowned eatery of hometown hero John Elway. Though “Elway’s” made up for its amazing food with terrible service, the night of Independence was filled with gothic nightclubs, free limo rides, and lectures on Sub-Saharan Africa from cab drivers.

As America woke up one year older, the gang laid in their ultra comfortable beds and debated prolonging their stay. In the end, the distressed bunch finally managed to get out of their beds and were forced to call the bell hop up to pack their bags and take them down to the car. Those poor kids! The group was scheduled to stay with Shane’s family friends, the Stein family, for the next two days, and with their car freshly cleaned the four headed out to Aurora, CO for their final two days of rest. Arriving at the Stein’s home, the boys thought that they had accidently driven back to the Ritz. The beautiful home lay on edge of the Aurora Reservoir, and the Rockies etch-a-sketched a perfect skyline vista from the second floor patio. Mr. and Mrs. Stein, along with their son Nate and daughter Lindsey, complimented their welcoming home with friendly humor, and Mr. Stein’s love for the Red Sox even cracked THE Jason Lupatkin. In fact, in finding out that Jason was a Yankee fan, the Massachusetts bred Stein family was kind enough to let Jason sleep outside, within their fence, so that Coyotes would not eat him at night.

Relaxing in the Stein household on the 5th was the perfect ending to the first third of our journey. The sense of home refreshed all of us - with family discussions on the couch and a mother's seasoning of love on dinner - but, most memorable, was the Stein’s overall approach to life. Four strangers, later featuring Claire, had come into their home, and within hours, they were treated as part of the family. Every amenity was offered, every bed was given, and the nature of our hosts will always stick with us. We are slowly learning that it is the people of this land that make this country special - It is families like the Mongas, Gartons, the Kelsalls, and the Steins who give everything they can to others and treat all like their kinship. FACE AIDS and nonprofits in this country have the opportunity to make a difference because of these families, and waking up each day underneath a new roof each day has reminded us that we are lucky to live in the friendly, amber waves of grain that are America.

Days 18 & 19: It was the Best of Times, It was the Worst of Times

There comes a moment in every half way to being middle aged man's life, where he realizes that, officially, his childhood is over. The door to Mr. Rogers' playhouse closes, the ferries stop taking people to Gulla Gulla Island, and you have to be on drugs to think a purple dinosaur can talk. This moment of clarity dropped the curtail on our childhood, tonight, as our group watched Toy Story 3: We laughed, we cried, and as Vanessa Carlton would say, "if I could fall into the sky, do you think time would pass me by?"

Friday's sun rose with a newfound relaxed approached to our ride: we decided that, at the end of the day, we were going to make it across this country in 67 days no matter how early, or late, we woke up in the morning. 7:30am, quickly became 10:00am, and as we waved goodbye to the Garton's Lincoln-esque cabin, our team braced themselves for the world renowned Vail Pass. Weaving up and around the brute of the Rockies, this pass is known for swallowing riders faster than when Claire inhales her daily bowl of fruit. 40 miles of climbing and 30 miles of mountain pass trails, separated our team from our destination of Keystone, CO (located beside beautiful Lake Dillon) and as we began the day's ride optimism was at an all time low.

From Jason's first wrong turn out the driveway, it was clear that the ride to Keystone would prove to be an interesting one. While Shane and Claire chose to be safe and ride together, Sanford, Zane and Jason motored ahead, hoping to outrace the rain clouds and finish the day's climb quickly. However, our three musketeers would find that their biggest obstacle on the road to Friday's destination would not be steeply ascending bike paths but a go-kart course and the Colorado River. Upon reaching the town of Copper, in the middle of Nowhere, CO, our FACE AIDS uniformed riders were approached by a family of Stanford alums. After discussing FACE AIDS and the purpose of the ride for some time, Sanford, known for his keen alertness especially on the road, noticed a track in the distance. Would our riders be able to resist the temptation of mid-day go-karting?

Obviously not. Despite talking to Arthur, the owner of the karting operation, about the ride, the boys were unable to secure their favorite cars. Zane, obviously, should have been Donkey Kong, but instead was given Peach due to his flowing locks of hair. Upon realizing that Edward from Twilight was not, and never will be, a playable character in any respectable video game, Sanford chose Wario simply because he has teeth that kind of sort of look like those of a vampire. Not really though. Finally, Jason requested the strong-willed, never-questioned Bowser, but, instead, was given the role of the lanky plumber Luigi. After seven laps on the rainbow level that everyone falls of off, Luigi used his weight advantage to navigate past a lagging Wario. With time running out, Peach dropped three banana peels with the hope of protecting her leading position. Unfortunately for our princess, a gopher from the days of "Moo Moo Farm" sprung up, decapitating the lovely Peach and allowing Luigi a well-earned victory. Realizing after returning to their actual bodies that they had no idea how to get to Keystone from Peach's Castle, the boys asked and received help from Steve and his wife Sue, experienced bikers eager to learn about the Ride Against AIDS. Following a half-hour discussion of FACE AIDS activities on the Stanford campus and their relationship to pin-making program in Africa, the "S-Couple" offered our riders advice and steered them on their way.

While shells were being fired in Copper, more interesting events occurred with our other riders. Shane suffered a flat tire immediately after finishing the uphill and was forced to bellydance his way into town to await pick up. With one leg and one tire, our heart and soul believed it wise to call the day early and live to fight another battle. One rider Shane will receive no pity from for Friday's hardships is the famous Momma Fish II. Treating the ride like a crew race, Claire pedaled and pedaled without any idea as to where she was heading. Unfortunately for the experienced stroke seat, Claire forgot that she had no coxswain to direct her: In the end, Momma Fish II wound up biking an extra 20 miles on the day, leaving her angry and ready to erg her pain away.

Sanford, Jason, and Zane were not the only members of the group to have good Fridays--Kirsten, forever an trooper, accomplished a feat unparalleled in history. Through the masses of thousands of red and white-striped clad people on the roads of Colorado, she somehow managed to do what the visually-impaired Shane has always dreamed of: she found Waldo. Apparently, Waldo travels with a companion named Bobby always and prefers to be called Wally. Reveling in her success, Kirsten found herself anxiously awaiting Saturday's ride with Wally and Bobby, so much so that she chose to hit the hay early in order to lead the charge into Denver.

The branches of the Stanford Tree did not need to extend very far to find us housing in Keystone, as Alex Kelsall, a dorm-mate of Claire and Shane, volunteered to host the group of 7 at his families winter cottage. Pulling into the beautiful home, Mike and Shane unloaded the car, and Mike was picked up by a friend to attend a wedding during the holiday weekend. For the second day in a row, the FACE AIDS team and somehow landed a beautiful home with amazing views of the surrounding mountain passes. And, as fate would have it, as Shane and Alex looked into the basin of one of these mountain passes, they saw Zane, Sanford, and Jason pull in next to the Colorado river. Instantaneously, as if Barry White was playing in the background, Shake-Weight certified user Zane Silver threw off his riding shirt and dove into the rolling Colorado River that ran next to the bike path.

Eventually, we all made it to the comfort of the Kelsall Keystone Kottage. After taking our traditional read/nap/listen to Jason three song playlist on repeat session, our group pilled into the car for a nice dinner beside Lake Dillon. Though the food was sub-par, the conversation was splendid and, in the end, at least Zane was able to give the waitress his cell phone number. Purposely forgetting the boxed food at the restaurant, your favorite riders reconvened beside the fireplace for a night of laughter and route planning.

On Saturday morning, accompanied by her newfound entourage, Kirsten lead the infamous climb up Loveland Pass by leaving thirty minutes before scheduled departure time. With this news permeating his REM cycle, Jason made a conscious decision to sleep in for two more hours. After the representative from New York was finally pulled out of bed, Claire had emailed enough nonexistent people about not important things, and Zane had finished applying his camera-friendly makeup, the three stragglers finally hit the road. These three would soon find themselves separately, attacking Loveland Pass in their own ways. While Zane rode his tamed goat up and Claire de-stressed by erg-biking, Jason jerked his way to the 11990 foot summit--the highest point on our entire ride. Ten minutes and forty photos later (You didn't think Zane would waste an opportunity, did you now?), our riders felt the chill and cruised down the mountain. Drafting and slipstreaming, the three truly felt "safety in numbers." Thirty miles of downhill later, the team was extremely close to its lodgings for the night.

While the riders actually did something of importance/meaning, Sanford and Shane pulled into the Kelsall's Denver home to stay another night with this selfless family. Hobbling out of the car, Shane was immediately swarmed by Mrs. Kelsall, an unbelievable pediatrician, who had him on a couch, taking medicine, whiling icing, and on the phone with a orthopedic doctor within 15 minutes of their arrival at the house. It was worse than the storm of Omaha Beach, as the stunned rider had been surprised by the unwavering love that Mrs.Kelsall kept deploying. Sanford took the time to explore the Kelsall House, finding a stash of Twilight memorabilia to stare at for hours.

As the two drivers relaxed, Claire, Zane and Jason found themselves drawn to the Denver Federal Center. Scoping out the buildings on the fenced-in property for an hour, the three waited until they had found weak points in the perimeter defenses to alert the Pentagon about before calling for pickup. Sitting by the side of the government property, our riders were then picked up by an unmarked white van driven by Shane and Sanford, the sight of which relieved the hundreds of federal agents surveilling our apparently-snooping riders.

After tidying up and futile attempts to force Shane to shave in order to keep our phones untapped, Mr. and Mrs. Kelsall teamed up to make the riders an amazing BBQ dinner with more fresh fruit than even the organic, our state is going to save the world even though we are broke, super green Californian riders knew what to do with. It was interesting to juxtapose this family dinner with last nights meal because not only was it cheaper, but the dusk's ambiance against our table on the Kelsall's deck was just enough to help us realize that we could finally relax. The worst of the ride is behind us. We had suffered through the lonely roads of Nevada, escaped the missionaries in Utah, and climbed the Rockies of Colorado. "It's only downhill from here," exclaimed Sanford as he pushed one more burger down out of sight.

Tomorrow, our group will split up once again, with Mike at the wedding, Kirsten heading to Boulder, Claire visiting friends in Vail, and the four lone rangers exploring the sites of downtown Denver. For now, our team has been put back in the toy chest. Andy has forgotten about us, hidden us in crates with his Beanie Babies and Lego action figures. But, it is only time (more like 2 days) before the the air of childhood will blow open the hatch and our team will reunite to ride on and finish the mission we began.

Day 18: Rolling On Into Colorado

We got an early start this morning, pushing off from the hotel at 7:30. Shane, not surprisingly, decided not to join us for the day and it was great to not have another fresh face in the group! The day's route called for 48 miles of mostly uphill riding with maybe 3,000 feet of gained elevation. 25 miles in we reached an overpass. It was nice. The van met us there, we posed for some pictures with the Colorado River and headed on out.

Eight miles later we paused to take in the scenery and consider our mission. Shane stayed in the van, while we riders lamented our decision not to eat, fell into the Colorado, and took a half hour nap. When we finally got up we rode on and finished the last 25 miles or so. Ten miles later we were ten miles closer to our destination. The hills were green, but rolled all the way into Edwards (unfortunately, we ended on the uphill!).

We arrived in Edwards, CO around 12:30. It's a semi-large town, but is loaded with charm. The buildings are snowcapped and the people are friendly, especially our host Lulu Garton and her daughter Bailey. Additionally, the river that runs parallel to the town makes for a great outdoors area. The team gladly sat in the comfort of the couches of our second Garton host for a half hour or so. The conversation was enjoyable but we managed to find some topics of mutual interest that rose slightly out of the murky water of our thoughts, allowing us to all enjoy the beautiful July sun.



We just returned from a wonderful dinner, courtesy of our hosts and are enjoying a quiet evening in our amazing home, fit for the critics of Log Home Design Ideas Magazine (See 1998) that we are staying in. Tomorrow we climb 3000 feet up over Vail Pass then descend into Keystone. It's about 50 more miles and the grade is gradual, but we are going to sleep in a bit and see the 2nd of July sun that I’m told rises in the east and sets in the west.


I suppose this is officially the middle of the Rocky Mountains. Since the beginning of the trip people have been wishing us luck on the Rockies, but frankly (I could possibly eat these words) I'm not that intimidated. We just spent the past 2.5 weeks in the mountains; in Nevada it was not uncommon to do hundreds of flat miles in a day. So even though you are wondering why this is clearly plagiarized writing from last year, I think it should be very understandable that we are simply at a loss for time. Not easy, mind you, but not devastatingly difficult. Check back in a week to see if the sun's position holds true!



Today's Trivia Question: 100% of the funds raised through Face AIDS are matched by private donors and thrown behind the work of what organization? (Hint: Paul Farmer founded this organization while still a medical student). (10 points)